The (updated) Ten Commandments

Exodus chapter 20 in the Bible records God’s decrees handed down through Moses for His people.  Our generation and culture is not at all comfortable with this Law.

I offer an observation here with bated breath, not myself daring to “go up the mountain” with Moses.  I hope not to be blasphemous or be disrespectful to the Word, and am conscious that only by the Grace of God are my transgressions against these commands no longer counted against me.

That said, I am unapologetic in being a bit cheeky and ironic about our culture and age – which might prefer that updated Ten Commands read something like:

Updated Original
Greta Thunberg, Klaus Schwab and the World Economic Forum pronounced: God spoke all these words:
“Mother Earth is your Ultimate Source and Highest Purpose, out of whom you evolved through Time and Chance, by the process of evolution from sludge, amoeba and ape.

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

 “You shall have no other priority before Mother Earth.”

“You shall have no other gods before me.”

“You shall prostrate yourself and your culture and your community and your economy to everything in heaven above and on Mother Earth beneath and in the waters below even down to the tiniest variant of rainbow fish that until yesterday you didn’t know existed, lauding Mother Earth as all powerful (however, as needing your personal and uncompromising protection).  You shall bow down to these things and worship them; for Mother Earth is an angry god, destroying the children for any attempt to ‘be fruitful and increase in number; [or attempt to] fill the earth and subdue it, or [attempt to] rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground’.  For Mother Earth is a Destroying Angel, and will wipe out the children by the year 1970 (no, sorry we updated that to 1992 – oops that’s old news now its 2012; errr… is it now 2030?) for the Capitalist Greed of the parents who did not vote Green, but will show love to a thousand generations of those who buy EVs, use solar and wind power, and always take recycled plastic bags for grocery shopping.”

“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.”

“You shall not misuse the Pronoun of the minority groups, for Mother Earth will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses these Pronouns.”

“You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.”

”Sabbath?  What’s that?  I don’t recall.  Doesn’t matter.  If God got one wrong, that’s still 90% so who’s quibbling?  Jesus didn’t like the Sabbath anyway, right?  And I love work so much I’d prefer to do it 7 days a week and 12 hours a day.  Right?  Hmmm… no I’m not sure that sounds quite so fun; but how dare you suggest I’m confused in fighting for a 4-day work week on one hand while wanting to forget the Sabbath on the other!  And anyway clearly my religion of Science tells me six day creation is nonsense so this must mean God really gave us ‘9 commandments and 1 recommendation’.”

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.”

“Your mother and – particularly – your father are both idiots who don’t deserve your respect, and who probably didn’t even vote Green, so should be roundly despised and rejected.  Honour instead Mother Earth and Father Science, by whom you probably won’t live long in the land that the World Economic Forum will soon take from you.”

“Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

“You shall wantonly murder the unborn, the infirm, the aged, and anyone who is in pain or has an unfulfilled life (but… to make people feel warm and fuzzy and even self-righteous, give it really nice, euphemistic names like ‘abortion’ and ‘euthanasia’ and employ doublespeak so they’re actually convinced that this evil is ‘fighting for some minority group’s rights’.)”

“You shall not murder.”

“Adultery is quite fun, to be encouraged, and really doesn’t hurt anyone so long as both (all) people are consenting adults.  Actually we’ll get back to you on whether or not the parties need to be adults as we’re not really sure about that.  And come to think of it, probably being ‘people’ might be optional too if you wait around long enough.  We reserve our rights to update these terms and conditions whenever we please anyway, so in summary just go right ahead as long as you reject the original ten rules.”

“You shall not commit adultery.”

“Do not get caught stealing.  But frankly because you should identify i. as a Victim and ii. with a range of disadvantaged minority groups, quietly cheating on your taxes is only your just deserts.”

“You shall not steal.”

“You shall tell your own truth; and don’t lose sleep over the perspective of or impact on your neighbour.”

“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbour.”

You shall always buy (on AfterPay) whatever the Influencers are selling.  You shall measure your worth by comparison with your neighbour’s wife, the size of his business, the age and size of his smart TV and car, and everything else he owns.”

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.”

When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the weather news and saw the earth quakes that (despite always happening throughout the ages) had for generations past not been featured in 24-hour iPhone news feeds, they trembled with fear.  They didn’t do their own research or sanity checking, and said to Greta, Klaus and their MainStream Media cronies, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen.  But do not have God speak to us for we would prefer to believe God is Dead.”

Klaus said to the people, “Be afraid.  Mother Earth has declared that prostate owners and non-prostate owners (except, of course, for Klaus and friends) are a blight and should be rejected by evolution (perhaps with a little assistance from said Klaus and friends) to keep you from subduing the earth.”

The people kept refreshing their iPhones for the latest edicts from Klaus and the MainStream Media, who were meeting in the darkened back rooms at Davos.

When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.”

 

 

Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”

 

 

The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.

Just to carefully repeat the disclaimer at the top of this post, I am deeply conscious and grieved that I have broken every one of the (original) Ten Commandments – at least by Jesus’ standards.  I am justified, but by God’s grace alone.

I share this cheeky observation not to throw stones (I’m in no position), but towards a bit of rethink on what seems to me to be an unchallenged religion of Earth worship, even (especially?) within Christian churches.  Let’s be good stewards of the planet (and of our relationships and of our economy) by all means, but perhaps to also ask every now and then if our attitudes and behaviour constitute worship of the created rather than of the Creator.

1 Comment

  • Alex

    Very perceptively written

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