The rhythm of the road was such a different energy to the sudden and unexpected return to Aus. It’s quite a slap across the face to suddenly be back in and around familiar places, culture, people. Not at all in a bad way, obviously, but even though it is very good it is still a bit disorienting especially with an arm immobile and sore.
I’ve now been to Box Hill hospital twice – exactly one and two weeks after the accident. The first time I had just emerged from a flight half way from the other side of the world, and I was in no condition to ask good, probing questions as my place was all over the head. The second time I was in a better posture to engage, but not really prepared (despite a warning, thanks Josiah!) for the extremely condescending engagement. I was a bit taken aback at being treated like an idiot and spoken to like a child. Oh well. Notwithstanding, I did get a bit more context. Two key facts emerged:
- This week’s surgeon described my bone not as “broken” but as “smashed”, which was offered as the reason that surgery is not preferred. He gave a word picture – if a plate of window glass was cracked, he suggested it may work to glue the cracked piece back in place. In contrast, if a sheet of safety glass was smashed, it cracks into tiny fragments with very little utility in glueing them back together. He further explained the body will produce its own “glue” anyway and that the shoulder ball will hold it in place while that happens.
- The surgeon affirmed that if I were “ten years older” there’d be no prevarication or question, but surgery would be simply out of the picture. I didn’t quite catch the logic behind that statement, because I was too busy filling in the blanks and hearing what he wasn’t saying (but was clearly thinking) – that if the patient was ten years younger I’d have been under the knife the moment I first presented. Perhaps I’m jumping at shadows.
Regardless I’m working towards a referral to a surgeon a. who went to my school a couple of years below my grade, and b. whose dad repaired my broken leg from a motorbike accident 32 years ago. If another independent pair of eyes agrees with the no-surgery approach then I’ll just focus on recuperation and physio, otherwise I’ll likely follow the bouncing ball through the new care.
Meantime, I’m beyond grateful for Rob and Bill and respective families who have made me welcome at their homes last week and this week while I sort myself out. I’m heading to the South Island this coming week for a bit of time with my brothers, and will then float between Hobart and Melbourne while I a. recover and b. pursue an income, with gratitude for that care and for Haydn and family who have also made space available for my next few Melbourne weeks.
I suspect that income will need to look a lot like my recent professional contribution, as I don’t have time to prepare or pursue more “left field” ideas. Some of the headline options therefore include:
- “Director of Transformation” or CIO (head of IT), perhaps for a large Aged Care or other NFP organisation
- Joining a consulting company
In the prefect world I’ll take on one of these as a half time role, so that I have capacity to also build something myself. I’d love to have a go at building a third business, and bring some of the lessons learned from the first two to that new endeavour. I’ll give “part time” employment a shot, but I’m not sure how that will fly as the roles I’ve targeted above really are both “full time plus” contributions.
While I’m imagining a (probably impractical) best case, I’d also invest time in regular exercise rhythms and a few creative pursuits – perhaps with more writing, and some lessons in creating art and music.
Meantime, I’m still chasing options and quotes to freight the bike back from Laos. Just because there isn’t enough going on otherwise.
In all that, I’ve had to throw myself into “full project mode”, without much time to really reflect on the road trip. A colleague Peter was asking about that reflection over coffee this morning, and it occurred to me I’ll need to deliberately carve out some reflection time not to miss much of the possible upside of the Sabbatical. That’s a work in progress, given the focussed activity that seems to me to be necessary at the moment.
I’m relatively at peace, given all the turmoil and uncertainty. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and take each day as it comes. Even though I can’t see much past my nose, I do have a sense there’s purpose and design in the twisted and unexpected path. For that I am thankful. And I am constantly conscious of love and support and a circle of people cheering me on which gives enormous strength and courage into the unknown. Thank you.
Now; time to pull up stumps tonight and I have the privilege of a day with a few different friends tomorrow.